I’m the Best, You’re the Worst!

I’ve never heard a more stupid argument! You couldn’t be more mistaken! I’m the only person who can pull this off! He’s the most conceited person you’ve ever met! My opponent is completely deranged!  My fans are the brightest, most talented! She never gets tired of complaining! It was the biggest crowd ever! Let me tell you the best way to treat COVID! You’ll totally love my plan! He’s the most corrupt judge ever!

What do each of these claims have in common? They are all unprovable, as are essentially all statements containing superlatives. They’re all intended to persuade, but without providing evidence to support the claims. There’s no data, no explanations, no statistics. In fact, even if there were statistics, they would likely include some less than 100% chance of being true. Statistics is about probability, not certainty. Superlatives are about certainty.

In any population of people, or characteristics, or events there are outliers, exceptions to the rule. We are not one-dimensional creatures and we don’t live in an either-or world. There are multiple factors that contribute to making someone or something the best. And even in the event that there is a theoretical “best” of this or that, In what way can you assure yourself that it will still be the best five minutes from now? How long does the “best” get to wear its crown? 

There is so much trouble with superlatives being understood as factual statements, that it’s better (not best!) to treat them as opinions instead. Of course doing so, treating them as beliefs, sticks a pin in their oomph factor. You won’t as easily ooh and aah when someone is almost at the finish line, but not there yet. The headlines go to the gold, not to the bronze. Even in the Olympics what do you make of a gold medalist who won their event by .06 seconds or by 1 point or by 2 millimeters? Does that make them the “best” in the world?  Or did fate or luck or drugs have a hand in giving them the honor?  

It’s the same in politics, of course, where the situation is out of control in some quarters. When a politician claims that he or she is the only person who can save the nation, look at the history of those who’ve made those claims in the past.  If they had been the best, the politicians with the most excellent ideas, would there be as many problems as we still have?

The truth is a lot more iffy and not so easily wrapped up in a superlative. There are good ideas, for sure, but those ideas are focused on who or what in particular they’re good for. It’s that second point that doesn’t get much attention or acknowledgment. For instance if your best idea was to give a massive tax cut to raise all boats economically, why did some boats (yachts) get lifted higher and faster than other boats (dinghies)? Could it have been that your great idea was initially really intended to benefit the already wealthy because in their spirit of generosity they would pass down some of their gains?  Did you consider the arguments of others who thought your great idea was the worst idea they’d ever heard of? 

Welcome to Constitutional democracy United States style, where free speech is protected so assiduously that you don’t have to worry about what your opponents think. You just have to have a bigger bullhorn, which thankfully you can afford because of the tax cuts you engineered for yourself!  

But freedom of speech has its upside, which ironically makes me more confident in writing this piece that I don’t have to worry about legal repercussions. Consider that in some countries saying the wrong thing can get you thrown out a window or served a glass of Novichok flavored vodka. Even so, the downside is real. There’s a lot of gas in the air and a flourishing job market for fact checkers. But this just proves the point. The United States isn’t the best, it’s still struggling toward the finish line and always will be. And yet, as Tina Turner sang, “You’re better than all the rest.” Okay, I admit that’s a claim with a superlative. So sue me.